Post about Confirmation of Betsy DeVos and my memories of public school education in North Dakota. 

Opening explanation of my connection to ND for the ND Senators:

By way of background in ND, I am a CA resident currently but I lived in ND from 1976 to 1992 and my dad (Rodli Pederson, 1941-2015) and mom (Diane Dahlen Pederson, 1948-1990) both lived most of their lives since birth in ND (with brief interlude in WI). All of my grandparents on both sides also lived in ND for most of their lives. My paternal grandfather  (Alton Pederson) was elected judge in Burke County and practiced law for many years.  My maternal grandfather owned a creamery in Minot.

My dad most recently lived at the ND Veterans Home in Lisbon, where he passed away in 2015. 

He had donated his remains to the medical school at UND for research, and will be buried in Valley City when "his teaching is complete" as the UND staffers say. 

Long version for Inkwell group (version sent to Senators only included the Story about Mr. Goffe):

As Sen. Murkowski said, Betsy DeVos must show us that she truly understands the children across America, both urban and rural, who are not able to access an alternative choice in education. 

She was talking about Alaska but it’s the same thing in North Dakota, and Sen. Hoeven, please think about how her confirmation could hurt ND where the public schools are so important, and often the only choice.  We do not want to see ND go the way of DeVos’ “accomplishments” in Michigan.  I grew up in ND and attended public school there for my entire K-12 education.  I have so many personal memories of my teachers and what they taught me, both academically and as a student with a terminally ill mother with cancer who eventually passed away when I was in 10th grade.  

I saved most of my school notebooks for many years, and remember many creative lesson plans - including 8th & 9th grade English with the late Mrs. Marlys Langemo, creating books of our original stories and poems and learning the parts of speech from her original rap stylings.  Our family also talked a lot with Mrs. Langemo while visiting my mom in the Sheyenne Care Center (local nursing home) as Mrs. Langemo's mom was also a resident there.

In 3rd grade, Mrs. LaWanna Hieb took me under her wing as a new kid just arrived in Valley City from Mandan and I will always be thankful. Even in 6th grade, along with teaching us how important it is to learn how to think (not what to think) — Mr. Jan Beauchman saved 15 minutes to read to us every day (books read were varied from Louis L’Amour to Where the Red Fern Grows, not for “little kids” as we were about to go to junior high). 

7th Grade Life Science with Mr. Mike Watterson felt like the first “real science” class where we got to do dissections of earthworms and test our own blood types. Nothing felt boiled down for us even though we were still in junior high, and a few years away from “real” Biology with Mr. Jerry Hieb.  (I still love to say “medulla oblongata”).   Mrs. LuAnn Opdahl (now LuAnn White, and working as a realtor in Fargo) provided emotional support when my mom passed away in 10th grade, on top of being my English/Journalism teacher for 3 years in high school and supporting me with college recommendations. 

I still have my notebook from US History, where Mr. Art Goffe had us write out the entire Constitution by hand, leaving blanks to write notes from his class lectures on each section.  Mr. Goffe was also a two-term Representative in the ND Legislature and it was exciting to hear him explain his work there when he was back in the classroom. He firmly believed in the power of citizens to enact change.  He passed away last March.   http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/times-online/obituary.aspx?pid=177979932 

I’m still in contact with some of my teachers who live in ND and as far as I can tell, none of them are supporting Ms. DeVos.

I think the education I received was excellent, even if it was “only” the public school system (plus one private Catholic school) in a town of 7,000 people (Go Valley City Hi-Liners!).  I can’t give all this credit to the VC public schools, but with their preparation and the support of my dad, I did manage to get admitted to Stanford, graduate with a bachelor’s degree (in English!) and finally pay off the thousands of dollars in student loans that I needed as a student from a middle-class single-parent family.  I have been employed almost continuously in the game/interactive software industry here in CA for over 20 years. I currently hold a Director-level job at a Silicon Valley startup which specializes in educational content for kids on mobile platforms for clients like Samsung and Verizon.  

Mrs. DeVos has no experience in public schools, either as a parent, child or teacher, and as Sen. Warren pointed out, is woefully underprepared to administer student loan programs and everything that the Dept of Education handles for higher education as well. 

Please Vote NO on her confirmation as Secretary of Education.

Remembering Adrienne Rich

It's been almost two years since I last wrote in this blog and I am surprised to see that I have never written here about Adrienne Rich, apparently.

Ms. Rich passed away last week on March 27, 2012, at the age of 82 and tonight, when I perhaps should be working, I am feeling a lot of delayed mourning for her. (and also some anxiety since I can't find my tape of all of the "Dark Fields of the Republic" poems, read by her, and it doesn't seem to be on iTunes or available on CD yet, although many of the poems are on the Voice of the Poet collection that I do have).

Here is the NYT article about her. And here's a 1994 interview with her in the Progressive.

First experience and reading: Stanford Medical School, "Dark Fields of the Republic" era:

I was first introduced to Adrienne Rich's poems while taking a class which focused mostly on poems written by women, taught by Monika Greenleaf, at Stanford.

One day someone burst into the class (at least that is my memory) and announced that Adrienne Rich was reading on campus - at the Medical Center! -- right now!

(Interestingly it appears she also did a similar reading at Medical Center in April 2001 but I clearly remember her doing this in 1995 as well.)

So most of us ran over to hear her, that day, and I was transfixed as I had never read her work really before, and heard it for the first time read by her in person.

Hard to describe the reaction, I was just in awe. A small, wise woman, reading her work, which at this reading was the pieces which focused on her time in hospitals (some of it). Her troubles with rheumatoid arthritis which contributed to her death eventually just now.

I think the poem I remember most vividly was "Calle Visión": (which I am tempted to type out here) - but some individual lines:

-I love the whole opening part with"

"Not what you thought: just a turn-off

leading downhill not up"

...and then the whole rhythm of "under the blanket there are sheets...under the sheets there's a mattress...under the mattress there's a frame"

"The whole bed smells of soap and rust

the window smells of old tobacco dust and rain"

(internal rhythm of rust and dust...)

and she talked about how this is about being a patient in a hospital, at least I think she said that, about this part (and others, I'm avoiding quoting the entire poem here). Later on she also talks about x-rays, being asked "have you ever worked around metal..." etc.

I remember feeling the unique sense of place - here is a woman who has written poems that came, at least partially, inspired from her time in hospitals, and she goes directly to the hospital/medical school to read them.

"Calle Vision sand in your teeth

granules of cartilage in your wrists

Calle Vision firestorm behind

shuttered eyelids fire in your foot

Calle Vision rocking the gates

of your locked bones"

...

"Lodged in the difficult hotel

all help withheld

a place not to live but to die in

not an inn but a hospital"

Oh, I can't explain how it hit me so hard, I can just remember sitting there listening with my mouth open and being so amazed that I was in a place (stanford) where I could just stumble upon Adrienne Rich "randomly" reading her work!

Also, it's the impact of hearing the poem first instead of reading it. It hit me in different ways than if I was first reading the poems and just swooping through them quickly like I usually do when reading, especially when reading poetry.

This is one of the Great American Poets and she lives right near here (in Santa Cruz!) and maybe I can hear her more often! (which I subsequently tried to do). Ever since, I always think of her when driving over the hill to Santa Cruz...

I fell in love with that entire book that had just come out that year - 1995 - "Dark Fields of the Republic". I got the book and tape set and listened to the tape almost constantly at different times during the years. It was a favorite walking soundtrack (and basic soundtrack for life) for a long time, especially this poem, called "Inscriptions":

where I used lines from part 3 (Origins) for my Toastmasters Icebreaker speech:

"Turning points. We all like to hear about those. Points

on a graph.

Sudden conversions. Historical swings. Some kind of

dramatic structure.

But a life doesn't unfold that way it moves

in loops by switchbacks loosely strung

around the swelling of one hillside toward another

one island toward another"

I also loved to listen to Part Two of Inscriptions - "Movements" while walking, especially when this poem came up on the tape when I was literally walking across a street:

"Old backswitching road bent toward the ocean's light

Talking of angles of motion movements a black or a red tulip

opening

Times of walking across a street thinking

not I have joined a movement but I am stepping in this deep current (loved it when this line came up when I was actually stepping out into the street from the curb)

Part of my life washing behind me terror I couldn't swim with

part of my life waiting for me a part I had no words for

I need to live each day through have them and know them all

though I can see from here where I'll be standing at the end"

and the part right after this, which I loved because of the reference to teachers and to a person finding their direction somehow. It was so hopeful to me.

When does a life bend toward freedom? grasp its direction?

How do you know you're not circling in pale dreams, nostalgia

stagnation

but entering that deep current malachite colorado (I love the way she said "colorado")

requiring all your strength, wherever found

your patience and your labor (also love the way she says "labor". Maybe I just love the accent there).

desire pitted against desire's inversion

all your mind's fortitude?

Maybe through a teacher: someone with facts with numbers

with poetry

who wrote on the board: IN EVERY GENERATION ACTION FREES

OUR DREAMS

(and I believe in these teachers who can inspire as they have made a difference to me)

Maybe a student: one mind unfolding like a redblack peony

quenched into percentile, dropout, stubbed-out bud (also love her enunciation in the reading of "stubbed-out bud" but so sad to think of the quenching - you can hear her sadness in the line and also anger)

--- Your journals Patricia: Douglas your poems but the repetitive blows

on spines whose hope you were, on yours

to see that quenching and decide.

I also love the poem "Sending Love":

I love all the different ways of sending love and all the varied names in the poem.

Basically, my copy of "Dark Fields of the Republic" is well loved. And also signed!

2ND EXPERIENCE AND READING:

I got to see her read again, I think while I was still at Stanford, when she read at Kresge (may have been part of the Lane Lecture series?).

Wait, this may have been as recent as 2001 - since she definitely appeared in the Lane Lecture series in 2001.

At some point, maybe at this reading, I had her sign my copy of "Dark Fields of the Republic".

I remember afterwards, hanging around outside the reading and watching her walk out with friends and walk up to a car or whatever was waiting to pick her up at Kresge. I remember how small and yet wise and powerful she seemed. Too shy to talk to her of course (and not wanting to bug her).

I wished at the time that I would get to hear her again (unsure of her health state).

In 2001, Dave gave me a copy of her book Fox: Poems 1998-2000, for our first Christmas together.

3rd Reading
At some point after 2004, I bought her book "The School Among the Ruins: Poems 2000-2004" and must have gone to a reading and had her sign it. I think this was a Jewish Community Center reading in San Francisco that I went to, it may have been this 2006 Hannukah reading that was recently re-requoted here.

I'm not yet as emotionally connected to this book either, but I remember the reading itself being equally powerful. Again I was worried about her health, in 2006 she was 76.

Regarding "School Among the Ruins" - it has also a few interesting Bay Area references, such as this in "For June, in the Year 2001":

"Driving back from Berkeley
880's brute dystopia"

Perfect phrase to describe 880, a bleak road.




I believe at that time or later I bought
"Telephone Ringing in the Labyrinth: Poems 2004-2006" which again I am less emotionally attached to than to "Dark Fields" - maybe since Dark Fields has so much history of listening to it built up.

Also I have "The Voice of the Poet" book and CD set which I am very thankful for since it has a full collection of her most famous poems, read by her.

I also found a Garrison Keillor free video poetry podcast on iTunes which has her reading from "What Kind of Times Are These" which I also love (of course, from "Dark Fields of the Republic"!)

There is as well this treasure trove of Rich readings and writings, put together by U Penn apparently and is free for educational use.


Last week Dave emailed me that Adrienne Rich had died and I didn't really process it at the time because we were in the midst of a busy work week. I realized that I hadn't said or written anything about it just today (Monday April 2).

I am sad. And I realize when reading essays and memorials of Adrienne Rich, that my responses to her poems are quite personal to me -- I'm not necessarily responding to the same things that everyone else does, and that is ok.

I am thankful to have heard her read from her work in person at least 3 times, and that the world also has all these recordings of her own voice reading her work, which is invaluable.

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

Am reminded again how Joan's experiences in this book are kind of a
"twofer" for two large types of loss she describes so well.

- sudden loss (mom enters coma, Charlotte, etc) - Joan's experience of
husband's death suddenly at home

- also long uncertain scary losses where you are at mercy of docotors
(mom seemingly indefinitely in a coma and no one seems to be able to
remember how long it was)- Joan's daughter getting pneumonia, in coma,
other medical issues ( but apparently now ok at end of book) however
all the medical research Joan did reading her book on Intensive Care
is much appreciated. I wonder if we could have helped differently had
we known more... (there goes my own magical thinking of wanting to
make it better, to control a situation I could not control).

So many things I can not control and I still have trouble just
worrying about the stuff I can control and doing that Like going to bed.

"Life changes fast.
Life changes in the instant.
You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends.
The question of self-pity"
- Joan Didion from the book.

Sent from my iPhone

Joining a Band!

Last night I went to a band rehearsal for the first time in 18 years -
if you don't count my short stint in Stanford Band, (which I don't).

I don't have a clarinet yet, although I played for 8 years (5th thru
12th grade) in VC. So it was sight reading and "air clarinet" last
night. (this is a link to a music store they recommended, I'm also checking out a used horn on Friday).

It was the SF Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band, which meets at Lowell High
School in SF. My new friend Claudia told me about this on Saturday -
she plays flute and piccolo and really enjoys the band and loves the
director.(and like me, she is "straight but not narrow" and married).

I was surprised at how homey it all felt from the years I spent
sitting in the clarinet section all through school.
The band room, while a bit more deluxe than VCHS', still felt the
same: similar layout with storage for instruments and rooms to
practice lining the walls, podium for the conductor, etc.

Clarinets sitting in the same place - to the conductor's left. Almost
as numerous as the VCHS horde of clarinets- at least 10 I counted just
at this one rehearsal.
I first sat in the section leader's chair while I waited for him to
show up, and then moved to the row behind, and eventually sat in a
chair behind the back row and looked over people's shoulders as more
clarinets showed up.

The music seemed doable and the fingering came back to me as I sight
read, except for some of the sharps and flats. (the high b flat? The
really low e flat? ???)
Some of the songs were easier than others, but the band themselves
were still working the hard ones out so I did not feel weird.

Jadine, the director, seems really awesome. I love Mr. Bowen, but this
is obviously a level above, even just on the basic level that we are
all adults who are voluntarily here to play music (and hopefully get
better).

Very impressed by her direction in dynamics (piano vs forte, etc) and
in trying to get the group to listen to each other as a live band.

In high school somehow I never thought of us as playing off each other
and changing our style to fit the live performance like a jazz band.
I just thought we all had our parts, and if we all play in the right
time, it would sound ok.
There's a whole other level here - for example: she tells two sections
playing a syncopation in response: "just listen to each other - don't
try to count it."
She also had 7 instruments play a part of a song where they all come
in a beat after the last, and asked the group to listen and try to
count the voices.
Afterward she said that it was not as important what she asked us to
listen for, the important thing was that we generally listen better
when listening for something.

I briefly felt like I was in a Glee episode when I first got to the
school and 3 cheerleader/yell team types were hanging out outside. One
was wearing red which reminded me of the Cheerios!
I had some trouble getting in before I called Claudia, because the
front doors were locked. It turns out there is a side door that they
use- she came out and got me (and nicely dropped me off at San Bruno
Bart afterwards).

KillScreen

My cousin has co-launched this magazine, which also fits on the "What is Sunpath Playing" blog.

Very smart, well designed, and apparently also very popular.

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

To remember this - Ellen recommended today at Pat's birthday party.

to read: Boneshaker by Cherie Priest

King leopold's ghost

Notes
Andre, the Belgian we met in France.
Didn't he say he led African tours? Is he an offshoot of King
Leopold's focus on the Congo?